Finding Love

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There is no mistaking I grew up with a very distorted view on love. My parents divorced when I was only four years old & something went awry from there.

Without knowing their story I cannot blame them for what went wrong. But something did. Somewhere in their love story something was lost, and I inevitably went looking for it.

I didn’t go looking for what went amiss in their love story, but I went looking for a way to fulfill my own. I always ended up in the wrong place, but I kept looking anyway.

And, one day it hit me.

How do I even know there is more to love than what my parents showed me?

Why do I think there is more?

I had only ever known my parents as being divorced and logically I should have been okay with that. They were the ones who modeled what marriage was (or wasn’t) and that is what I should have seen as acceptable for my own life.

Except I didn’t.

It wasn’t until recently that I started to realize just what it means when God says He knew me before I was even born. As I began to recall back on situations that caused hurt in my life God started to reveal to me where He was in each of those moments.

When I was kicking and screaming in my bedroom doorway, “no one loves me!”, God loved me and in a very real way He was that doorway standing strong, framing my life.

When I was kicked out of my house at thirteen years old I felt rejected and damaged; Yet God provided a safe place for me to go, and He accepted me in my brokenness.

When I lost my virginity at 15 I thought I had found love. But when my reality was crushed by the truth that I had been used for a “game” I contemplated if life was worth living. And, it was then, as I sat on the edge of my bed with a piece of glass in my hand, that God planted a deep seed in my heart that stopped me from ever causing physical harm to my body.

So, ask yourself. How do you know there is more to love than what has been modeled before you?

What tells you that love is more than what you have ever experienced?

The day I decided to open my heart to God He showed me I was right all along to believe in a better love. And, ever since that day I have felt whole. I no longer feel like I am missing something because I know the creator of love, and He has fulfilled the void in my life that I so desperately wanted for 20 years. I am married now, but my search for love was completed before my husband ever proposed.

I encourage you today to ask yourself if you have ever experienced true love. And, not the kind of love they sell you in movies or books. The kind of love that no human can fulfill. But the kind of love that cannot be explained because it far surpasses all understanding.

If you don’t know this kind of love then message me, so we can talk!

Live.Love.Learn.

Thanks For Reading!
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I'm a stay-at-home wife and mommy. I am a country girl at heart and want a small farm some day. I enjoy reading and writing - usually done while my girls are sleeping! I like to clean and organize but I can't always keep up with my own house, so I am learning to accept the "little" messes of life.

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